Healing & Beyond
by Shay Panther
Shay shares heartful and gutsy pathways
she has learned-earned on her journey home to self.
Is your life working for you? Do you feel
seen? Recognized? Heard? Honored? Are you safe and sage to
come home to? Are you trustable to yourself? Do you have the
will to keep on track and not let old patterns de-rail you
from that which calls to you, rocks you, stirs your intrigue?
Having sustained energy and focus for our
passions and curiosities requires that we be "plugged in" to the Present, and available
to what reveals & whispers us from the now. You can’t stay
in touch with that, unless you are here to connect with it. Somebody
has to be "home."
To have access to this, we have to call home
our energies from where they roam ~ from the traumas or attachments
to the past. From our anticipation or fears of the future. An attachment
to the past can appear as your active present, as an old pattern
that doesn’t
work for you ~ that leaves you empty, or frustrated. And an overriding
desire for the future can steal the breath out of today, leaving
you hollow and yearning for what is right in front of you, but has
left you with nothing with which to make connection.
There is for us a point where we must choose
to self-hold, as we may have longed for others to hold us, to care
for us. This regardless of our past, our mistakes, our disgraces.
And ~ it is a choice we must make in order to heal. It is also
our first act of integrity ~ this "showing up" for our
own selves, with the deep regard we would extend to another .
The tragedy of our spirits isn’t one of sin, but one of separation,
from ourselves. The original betrayal is when we gave our power away
to someone else to determine our value… To recover our power,
we need to have our own esteem.
To find our way there, we must have the Grace of Heaven. Grace comes
to us, however we need it, when we show up for ourselves, when we
arrive into our own lives with the full attention and presence we
often reserve only for others.
Self-esteem is the key for the healing process
to continue ~ And self-esteem has to be earned. It is a verb. It
takes action. Ours. Action in the form of teaming your heart and
integrity, which gets you courage. You can’t pull a wagon with horses headed off
in opposite directions. You will not ride where you need to, if you
don’t have courage.
It takes an inner unity within you, before the world can mirror
it back to you in your outer experiences.
Our natural states are awareness and discernment. If you keep getting
trapped in old cycles, old patterns, you have underlying an agenda
for doing so. Perhaps your own survival. Want to get beyond survival
to thrival???
Explore how you can protect, and express your
authentic, exquisite self…fall in love with you, dance with
your mischief and magic, find out who you really are.
These healing principles are drawn
from Shay’s personal "come
back" trail .
"In 2001, I dared to hold myself, and dared
to "break-the-law" of my own self-hate. To love me.
I also risked the consequences of stepping into my own authenticity,
my own power ~ and having others not like it, not like me anymore.
This shortly required I walk away from someone whose approval I
desperately wanted ~ who initially seemed to honor me, and encourage
my creativity, but whom eventually revealed to me, within our relationship,
that I was selling my integrity to get their approval. That I was
in a sickly form of sacrifice, that was really an attempt to manipulate
them into loving me. I had not only lost my authenticity, but my
last shreds of dignity, trying to be what I thought that person wanted.
I had come to such a point of self-loathing,
toppled into such a pit of self-despair, that I had reached
a cross-roads. I had to make a choice: kill myself, or
love myself..
When I chose to love myself, a spirit
guide arrived to me, from across the veil. I was told I must
sew my heart and integrity together. That if I didn’t, that I’d
rip out my own heart.
I was told, in no uncertain terms,
by this spirit energy, that I had to make a choice. That
I must make up my mind ~ and get off the fence. That
the time was past for me mess’n around.
I stood at the edge of a chasm.
I chose to sew my heart and integrity together. That spirit still
walks with me.
It was the scariest thing I ever did. As I became trustable and
dependable to me, I lost my claim on others that they take care of
me, or make me feel good with their approval.
I gave up security for self-trust;
self-loathing for self-appreciation. I "broke-the-law" of
self-hate.
This, over time, made it safe for
the scattered pieces of my soul to return home to me. Now
I live, not as a being in schism and despair, but as a
whole woman able to draw upon all my facets, directing
my energies into a deep river of curiosity, creative passions
~ and authentic relationship, first with myself ~ and then
extended to others. For anything I share with others, must
first come out of the well of myself, and the choices that
sustain me."